The TENGA 2018 Global Self-Pleasure Report (conducted by sexual health and wellness company TENGA) wanted to find out how masculine stereotypes affect men, and so they questioned 13,000 people between the ages of 18 and 74, across 18 countries. It turns out, there is an actual link between how men contend with their masculinity and how fulfilling their relationships and sex lives are. You can take my word for it, or you can take science’s word for it.
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The fact that Jake felt threatened by my vibrator-instead of being excited to pleasure me in a new way-is a win for no one. Basically, women are sexually oppressed but men are emotionally oppressed-and that sucks for them… and for the rest of us, who have to interact with them, date them and fuck them. Let’s face it: women aren’t the only ones who suffer under the patriarchy. However, the second I whipped it out, it got a“Uh, I know you’re a feminist or whatever,” Jake told to me, “but it’s kinda weird that you need to use that while we’re fucking, don’t ya think?” Lol. And so I bought my (first ever) vibrator, thinking that using it together might be kinda hot. After a few months with Jake, I started to get tired of our thrust-thrust-roll-over sex, which never resulted in an orgasm for me. For those out there who don’t understand that being good in bed basically just means being attentive, and giving a fuck if your partner cums, consider this a PSA. And-surprise, surprise-he wasn’t great in bed.
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He considered feelings embarrassing, and would mock me whenever I cried during a fight. Like many traditionally “manly” men, Jake was stony-faced. I also learned that, often, men who cling to an outdated ideal of masculinity are actively covering-up a deep, deep well of insecurity. Thankfully, I soon learned that public discipline and a penchant for loose tobacco do not an excellent partner make. There was something about his stereotypical hyper-masculinity that just made me wet. I thought it was devastatingly cool that he rolled his own cigarettes. I loved that he carried a pocket knife (in his jeans pocket, right next to his dad’s credit card). I loved that when Jake was drunk, he’d spank me in public. Jake wasn’t actually slanging lassoes, but he wore vintage Wranglers and leather boots, mainlined whiskey, and had the gait of someone who’d been straddling horses (and/or a motorcycle) since birth. When I was 19, I fell in love with a cowboy-well, sort of. Personally, I can’t date a guy who won’t play nice with my Iroha. We all have our deal breakers-some need their partners to accept their dog, or their long work hours, or their latex fetish. Real talk: I love a man who’s not threatened by my vibrator. This post was created in partnership with TENGA. Here’s why life (and sex) are better when you date a guy with #feelings. Science has officially proven it: Men who “feel more” have better relationships with their partners-and they’re also more likely to use sex toys, which makes them better lovers. Share the post "Here’s Why You Should Date a Sensitive Man"